Imagine this

Usually when at airports or calling your telebanking, we are subjected to so many instructions and announcements like do this, go there and press 1/2/3 and so on. I get imaginative and make up some announcements myself, make them kinda funny and keep laughing quietly inside. Check out below for examples:

• This is a paging announcement for Mr. XYZ, Mrs. ABC travelling by 3J123. You better get onto the plane right now or you know what? We will wait another 2 hours for you.
• Welcome aboard flight PK420, we take pleasure in serving you with a fleet of pathetically maintained and totally unsafe aeroplanes. Our cabin crew have been randomly picked from among the choicest roadside dhabas across the country. I have specifically ordered them to treat you like servants in my own home. Sit back and don't you sleep!!!
• When you wrongly type in your bank account number on the call centre number, you will hear an ''I AM SORRY!! THAT WAS AN INVALID NUMBER''. Note the really sad and shocked tone of that lady's voice. Well, I would be like WHY ARE YOU FEELING SO SORRY...ITS MY ACCOUNT!!
• One more flight announcement - ''We are thrilled to announce a 24 hour delay in our flight to Mumbai. Passengers are requested to now quietly go home ''on your own'', get a good night's sleep and better get yourselves back here tomorrow morning'' OK?.
• Telebanking or mobile call centre- Press 1 if you haven't had breakfast today (??!!), Press 2 if your boss sucks, Press 3 if you are married (again !!??), Press 4 if you want to surely watch SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, Press 5 if you are still holding onto this nonsensical call. At any time during this call, Press 9 if you want to hear this or any fresh nonsense all over again in Swahili. You diligently press 9. ''I AM SORRY'' (you know the tone rite?) our Swahili speaking representative is busy attending other cartoons like you. Press 2300479828834 to speak to our Mongolian representative!!
• Welcome abode flight 55RHJ, all you guys won't get even a drop of water on this flight. You are like dead..I tell you. Our music and television sets have been deliberately taken apart to give you one memorable flight. No blankets or pillows. Temperature has been turned down to 4 degrees centigrade. Now, better sit straight, don't slouch and enjoy this rotten flight.